All of us get lonely, but what can we do about it?

Guest Author Published May 17, 2022 at 2.50pm (AWST)

health

We all experience feelings of loneliness even though the world is more accessible literally through the click of a button whereby we are linked to people, businesses and organisations all across the globe.

Yet despite this many of us still experience loneliness which can stem from a multitude of circumstances such as commencing a new job, relocating to another city or a relationship breakdown.

Strangely, you may feel lonely even when you are surrounded by others, how so?

I'll share an experience I had when a much younger and inexperienced version of me began working on a remote community whereby English wasn't a first language and a minority spoke English and or broken English.

So, you can imagine the challenges I had initially due to my lack of planning due to the excitement of taking the role and upon arrival the frustration I caused albeit unintentional was embarrassing when I had to engage in an activity that required seeking assistance, which was almost everything.

As a result, I felt incredibly lonely not to mention helpless as I watched locals hurrying away upon sighting me in an attempt to avoid yet another potentially uncomfortable interaction with myself.

I came to realise that my loneliness stemmed from my inability to connect to those around me meaningfully, due to the language barrier.

As humans we seek connectedness through meaningful interactions with others but when we lack this, it leaves us feeling lonely, disconnected and frustrated.

Refreshingly my bout of loneliness was a wake up and ended when I put in place steps to overcome barriers, resulting in growing long lasting friendships that I have to this day.

Lifeline defines loneliness as a feeling of sadness or distress because of a mismatch between the amount of social connection a person wants and the amount they have.

As such it's important to highlight that people who are alone do not necessarily feel lonely as they have a strong social network who they interact with on a regular basis.

Loneliness can be beaten but the first step is to recognise and acknowledge you're feeling this way, allowing you to identify:

What does it feel like? What it looks like for you will likely differ from what it looks like in others, tune into your mind and body when you experience waves of loneliness. Mind-wise are your thoughts racing, do you have negative thoughts, are you able to switch off these thoughts or do you fixate on them? Body-wise what reaction does your body have to the thoughts you are experiencing? Do you feel hollow inside, lack of energy or teary and does this make you feel angry, anxious or distressed?

What is causing it? What is going on for you, have you experienced / experiencing relationship breakdown, death of a loved one, loss of job or financial problems. Identifying the root cause assists in creating strategies to tackle your loneliness.

Do I need extra support? If your loneliness is impacting other areas of your life, you need to reach out and seek help, particularly if you are unable to shift the feeling. You can do this through your GP, Mental Health Professional, Helpline such as Wellways, Mens Line Australia, SANE Australia or Lifeline

Lastly change takes time, so be kind to yourself along the way and remember loneliness lessens when you are active, so find some healthy & enjoyable distractions to occupy your mind during your free time.