I absolutely support mourning innocent people who have been killed at the hands of extremists, fascists and megalomaniacs. The world as we know it is rife with these actors, and the sorrow is real. When violence tears through communities, when lives are stolen by senseless acts of hatred, everyone has the right to grieve collectively.

What I cannot get my head around is Australia's double standards when it comes to who deserves remorse. Australia mourns Bondi, the ANZACs, and many things - other than Invasion. Flags are lowered, vigils held and solemn words of "never forgetting" are promised. And of course we should never forget, those losses and lives matter.

On 26 January - a day of mourning that has been claimed by Aboriginal and Torres Islander peoples since 1938 - the majority of Australians crack open the beers, fire up the barbies and drape themselves in the flag that represents the beginning of our genocide.

On 22 January 2026, Australia will mourn Bondi. Four days later, the majority will celebrate Invasion Day. It is a kick in the guts. Four days. That's all that separates national mourning from national celebration. Four days between collective grief and collective amnesia. Four days between "never forget" and "get over it". The cognitive dissonance and cruelty is staggering.

Where is our National Day of Mourning for the thousands of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander men, women and children slaughtered in frontier wars that Australia still refuses to properly acknowledge? Where are the vigils for the babies and children taken from their families during the Stolen Generations? Where is the minute's silence for the 600-plus who have died in custody since the 1991 Royal Commission?

I know where. Buried under the mythology of peaceful settlement, drowned out by fireworks and flag-waving, dismissed as "dwelling on the past".

How can Australians claim to value all human life while simultaneously celebrating the date that marked the beginning of our dispossession, our devastation, our attempted erasure? How can people rightly mourn the violence in Bondi, and then party four days later on the anniversary of violence against the oldest continuing culture on Earth?

I am not talking about diminishing anyone's grief. I am talking about acknowledging everyone's grief. We teach children that Australia is a fair country, a decent country, a country that stands up for the underdog. Yet we cannot acknowledge that 26 January is a day of immense pain for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. We cannot even do the bare minimum of changing the date of a public holiday.

On January 22, we will watch Australia grieve, then we are expected to swallow our own grief four days later while Australia celebrates. The insensitivity is mind boggling.

The flag-waving patriots who insist on celebrating 26 January are the same people who will tell us to "get over it" when we speak about intergenerational trauma, about the ongoing impacts of colonisation, about the systems that continue to oppress us today. They'll tell us we're "playing the victim", while they wrap themselves in victimhood the moment anyone suggests changing a date.

If Australians can find empathy for victims of violence in 2025, but cannot extend that same empathy to the thousands of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples killed since January 26 1788 - what sort of country do we live in?

Surely Australians are better than this. Celebrating Australia, warts and all, should acknowledge everyone's history. We cannot build a reconciled nation on the foundation of celebrating Invasion.

As Australia mourns Bondi this week, and then prepares Australia Day barbecues, ask yourself, is this fair? Is this what it means to be Australian? Why do some deaths matter and others don't? What does it mean to mourn on Thursday and celebrate Invasion on Sunday?

Australia doesn't have a problem with mourning. It has a problem with whose lives are worthy of mourning. Until we all reckon with that, every flag waved on 26 January is yet another kick in the guts.

Renae Isaacs-Guthridge is a Noongar and Yamatji Yorga with connections across Countries, including Wardandi Boodja.